Managing Parental Expectations
With all of the emotional exercise and character building that goes into parenting, sometimes it's hard for parents to limit their expectations of their children. Thanks to the global pandemic, working from home and virtual schooling has created the perfect storm of parental micromanaging and high expectations. Having our children around 24/7, has made it too easy to plan their whole day and create unrealistic goals for their physical, emotional, and intellectual growth. As parents, we understand wanting the most for you child - we even admit to pushing our own children a little harder than we should. What we have to remember as parents is that, no matter how much we wish, hope, and pray for our children, the most important goal is raising happy, healthy, strong, and independent children. The rest, well that's just a bonus.
We have found these few reminders help us stay in check when it comes to managing our parental expectations:
1. Let children be children - they are young, energetic, and imaginative. They will inevitably be loud, wild, and messy, but this is the best way to learn. Enbrace the fun - we guarantee you will have fun too!
2. They don't learn the way we do - sometimes sitting at a desk isn't the best way for a child to learn. Try letting them complete their school work on the move - reciting times tables on the trampoline, practicing spelling while doing jumping jacks, reading on an exercise ball.
3. They are not emotionally as mature as we'd like to think - in an attempt to try to get their emotions across, often children resort to crying, whining, and, as we know all too well, tantrums. Try to acknowledge their emotions instead of their behaviour - it might mitigate some of the meltdown.
4. They are their own people - they aren't always going to like doing what we want, they aren't always going to be interested in the activities that we enjoy, and they aren't always going to behave the way we expect - and that is OKAY! B-R-E-A-T-H-E ... it will be okay.
5. They are stuck in this pandemic as well - away from friends, away from school, away from recess and playtime. Give them a bit of a break because they are being champions about accepting this new world. Give yourself a break - you are not a bad parent because your child doesn't meet your goals on your timeline.
Remember, now more than ever, be kind to your children and be kind to yourself. They WILL get to where you want them to be and the journey will be so much more relaxed and memorable if we remember to manage our expectations and just have FUN!